Petunia! God bless you

Petunia- 1. An unfortunate female name. 2. A genus of South American flower that is not suitable to give to your girlfriend on a first date, or any date. 3. One of the more common images taken by everyone with a point and shoot camera who thinks they are a photographer.


I hate petunias. I know, I know you're probably saying "how can you hate such a cute little innocent flower you stupid hobo" but they're gaudy...almost as gaudy as slippery gold pimp-pants...yes, I said pimp-pants.
But petunia is such a beautiful word...it's like...an entire ballad in 7 letters...and then it's wasted on the gold pimp-pants of the flower world.
I'm sure all the daisies and lilies wish all the petunias would be gathered up and put on an island...which would then be nuked by the North Korea of the flower world.
Bet you never knew a plant with fluffy petals could be so violent...and you thought you had issues. Do flowers cry when they get pressed in big dictionaries and bibles?

By the way...I have no idea what a petunia looks like. Minor details.

I like words that have a flow, flow being a very contrary term to my last "word".
Petunia is a word you could easily say over and over in your head until you lose track of time and miss your gynecologist appointment...been there done that.
Here, I'll help you start- Petunia Petunia Petunia Petunia Petunia Llama Petunia Petunia
We'll see who gets that one.

I'm trying to think of a story where petunias saved my life or provided some sort of life-altering revelation...but I can only think of sunflower and orchid stories...oh well.

If you're still saying petunia in your head and not paying attention to anything I'm writing...I don't care...it means you at least started to read this thing. So GO TELL THE WORLD HOW AWESOME IT IS. thank you.

HEY! (sorry for yelling)
Remember pogs? Ya, they were cool.
Gonna go buy some on ebay.